A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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