ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
