Im at strip club and am horny
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
