You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
