Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
