Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
