i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
