**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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