On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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