i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
