I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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