I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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