What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
