If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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