wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
