Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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