"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
