Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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