he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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