she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
