Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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