For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
