College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
do herpes really smell.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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