I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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