K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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