I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
