dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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