Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
