then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He has the fingertips of a God
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