I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He better not be in your backpack
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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