apparently the secret to your success is patron
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
