I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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