Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
