Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He better not be in your backpack
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
