god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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