I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
