If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
