watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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