'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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