dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
