Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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