Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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