How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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