drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize