You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
