I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
