I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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