At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
