Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
