Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
