I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
