you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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