Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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