...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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