she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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