If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
