I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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