what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
