3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
