Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
