if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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