Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
