Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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