Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
